And even though nobody's watching, she's falling apart...

I have never felt more broken. Everything is wrong. I look disgusting, I'm failing my classes, and I can't seem to have a single nice conversation with my mum without her ending up hating me. No one's noticing just how close to the edge I've gotten. I feel exhausted, and miserable, and I hate my whole life. I need someone to lean on, I need someone to tell me they love me, and will love me no matter what, and then I need them to come through for me. I'm all alone, and they keep telling me to just be strong, but I can't be. I've exhausted all my energy, and strength feels so unattainable. It's funny because all I want to do right now is binge, yet the only thing stopping me is my mum. I can't get on that plane in 3 weeks and have her see me fat again. It'll mean she was right, and I can' let her be right about this. I want to disappear.